The Gratitude-Achievement Dilemma
If you focus on what you have you will be content, whereas if you focus on what you don’t have, you will forever be unsatisfied. The popular trope goes something along those lines. It has been repeated time and time again by modern day lifestyle gurus and practitioners of self-love. And yet, how is it possible for one to improve without first realising the need or scope for improvement. Surely the two are at odds. How can one accept that a cup is full and yet seek to fill it ? How can one seek to be more, give more, become more, when already accepting that he is all he can be. Perfect and whole. It is these warring themes that form the crux of today’s argument.
Cast your mind back if you will to the promise-filled times of January 2020. The coronavirus was a foreign epidemic as far as the west (really everyone outside China) was concerned. 2020 would be the year of catching flights not feelings as the kids say. The year of slaying, playing and gorgeous holidaying. The euphoria was even present in the markets. Indices were approaching all-time highs and exceeding them in some cases. Growth trajectories were sloping up and to the right. Governments were planning great infrastucture spending splurges with cheap debt at hand.Money was aplenty, times were good, and the decade was set to pop! Well, pop it did. Just not in the way we all hoped. Fast forward a couple of months and the Chinese epidemic had become a global pandemic. No nation seemed to be immune to its claws (imagine that viruses have claws). Governments that hailed freedom of society and bemoaned the draconian responses levied by the Chinese state, were forced to employ similar practices themselves. 2020 brought with it a full slew of new words to the contemporary tongue — quarantine, lockdown, interventionist, epidemiology, and furlough. We even saw an unprecedented use of the term unprecedented. Most horrid though, was the loss of life. It is this that really brings home the mesage for the gratitude side of the divide. Ultimately, I have found, whatever degrees of achievement we hold, be they base, high, or overachievement, being alive and well in a time when so many others cannot say the same is a true cause for gratitude. Because as ambitious as one may be, nothing can be completed from six feet under. And yet, despite this apparent realisation, feelings of discontent still abound.
For those more naturally ambitious, the default setting is always to pursue more. Not always as part of a monomaniacal, all-conquering desire for success, but sometimes just to be able to feel progress. It is never enough to just be okay, to just be fine, dare I say to just be alive. Life for an achiever is all about expanding the horizon. I cannot imagine that Christopher Colombus, Thomas Edison, Steve Jobs or any other significant achiever of any time could have made their marks upon society and the world by being complacent with their fortunes. And this is despite wars, struggles, inequality and in some cases a pandemic as well. It seems to be sown into the very fabric of being of an achiever to well, achieve. It doesn’t matter that all signs point to contentment, it doesn’t matter that one might be in an infinitely better position than others, and so ought to be content. Thankful yes, but content, that’s another thing entirely. And so the war within rages on. Throughout, reinforcing a feeling of guilt at not being content with a life others would kill for. A constant cycle of reaching a goal (or in this case surviving catastrophe), and simply chucking it into the pile to focus on the next milestone, the next achievement, the next finish line. Indeed the view from the top of the mountain makes the climb worth it, but that moment is brief and fleeting. Soon enough the euphoria following the achievement is drowned out by the thirst for the next peak. It really is an exhaustive process, but one that proves difficult to shake. A sprinting analogy makes the case perfectly. Just because the average human runs a 100m dash in 20 seconds does not mean that it is acceptable, and one should be content with completing it in that time. For the everyday Joe maybe, but for those who dream of winning an olympic gold, their target is sub 10 seconds. To complicate matters even more, you can throw into the mix a paraplegic who is unable to complete the dash on his own legs in any time at all! And so the ricochets continue through the varied webs of life.
So here we are, at the end of this debate. Not all that wiser coming out as we were going in. I believe the answer lies in being true to oneself. The Chinese concept of yin-yang is my go to totem for resolving dichotomies, dualities, and dilemmas. We all have our light and dark, our night and day, our good and evil. Gratitude allows one to understand how far they’ve come and grants the perspective needed to appreciate the gruelling climb. It however, also leads one to believe that nothing else needs to be done. This is yang. Conversely, the drive, focus, and relentless pursuit of the next ‘thing’ will ensure that one never becomes complacent, and is always seeking to give all that can be given. For it is in this way that we advance as a species, discover new cures for diseases and push the boundaries of limitation. This is yin. And though sometimes, it may be monomaniacal and bring feelings of guilt with respect to yang, both halves are indeed needed to create the one whole.
I hope we find peace in accepting who we are and pursuing the vision for our true and highest selves.
